Scale Tipping Horror

Movie • THE ALLIGATOR PEOPLE • 1959
In this cautionary tale, The Alligator People, Richard Crane plays a man named Paul Webster who volunteered for experimental treatment after a plane crash. His mangled body heals itself better than any human could because of alligator enzymes in his experimental treatment. But, of course, as with anything experimental in old medicine and old monster movies something goes wrong. Paul is slowly turning into an alligator man.

The story is told through flashback via Paul's wife, Joyce, though she has repressed the memory. She tells the story under hypnosis. It’s really a creative way to make this story more interesting. It comes across as a warning against human testing, and the repercussions of ignoring that warning.

Newlyweds Joyce and Paul Webster are traveling by train on their honeymoon when Paul receives a telegram (ancient form of communication) that changes his chipper mood. He gets off at the next stop, and his wife doesn't see him again… until after years of searching she finds him again. At this point he looks like a pancake batter make-up monster with scales scored into his face.

Eventually, an attempt at a hasty cure is interrupted by an old, drunk man made bitter by a long ago alligator attack that left him one hand short. This incident drives Paul’s metamorphosis into express mode, and he ends up looking like the Gorn from Star Trek.

Except for the costumes and make-up there is very little

camp and cheese here. I can genuinely imagine The Alligator People could be remade in modern day. Not that I don’t appreciate it as is. A modern version would probably be intentionally corny, but it wouldn’t have to be.

Richard Crane just wants a hug.

Lon Chaney, Jr. (credited as Lon Chaney) plays the part of hook-handed Cajun “Manon,” A lovable old coot who is obsessed with harassing gators.
Thanks, Margali for the correction ;)

IT’s the cute, smiley monster from Mars

Movie • IT! THE TERROR from BEYOND SPACE • 1958
As I suspected, IT! The TERROR from BEYOND SPACE was an inspiration for the original Alien. Don’t expect the same kind of terror, though. This creature from Mars has a permanent frown plastered on his face, and that's about as scary as he gets. That's not to say, of course, that this picture wasn't brilliant! IT! The TERROR from BEYOND SPACE was a double feature with The Monster That Challenged The World, and I loved both :) I wish I could turn his frown upside down because he makes me so happy.
An astronaut crew crash lands on Mars in January of 1973… Ooh, fu-ture ;) Edward Carruthers is the only survivor, and is suspected of killing his crew to survive longer. It’s really a simple and believable set-up. His rescuers are bringing him back home to Earth to face trial. We learn this in the press room back on Earth where reporters smoke cigarettes freely in a small room… Blech!
Of course, an emergency air lock is left open by mistake, and our frowny creature sneaks in to hide among the cargo, plotting his viscious attacks for the return trip. Carruthers is subject to accusations and requests of confession early on. I thought it would be good to continue that tension after the creature starts killing, but the rescue crew knows right away that he’s not involved.
After the first victim goes missing, everyone is darting around looking under tea cups for him as if he was an Easter egg. This hour and ten minutes had me chuckling the whole time.
I guess it was a fifties thing, but I had to wonder what a rescue rocket was doing loaded with hand grenades and gas masks. I felt like I was watching Lost for an instant! But then the creature bent a rifle with a wood stock, and I was all better. Chuckles all the way through - including the tetherless space-walk.
IT! The TERROR from BEYOND SPACE was only a little over an hour, so you have no excuse but to give this gem a look-see.

Gastropoda need love too

Movie • THE MONSTER THAT CHALLENGED THE WORLD • 1957
Thanks, I needed that! After so many modern movies, I was beginning to think I was losing my appetite for monsters and scary. The Monster That Challenged The World revived me ;)
While the monster never actually “challenged” the world (not in a Mr. T way, anyway), it challenged a ragtag group of Navy people. We begin as many black and white monster movies begin: in a documentary style narration using stock military footage for filler and setting.
Then the cheese is served up on a plate, and I gorged myself! It”s funny how obvious it used to be that writers never seemed to be aware that there is protocol in the military.
The atomic age monster makes an early appearance, and sheesh, he’s too cute! Then you find out there are many. A gaggle of cutsey wormy monsters who drink your blood, and leave you looking like a raisin. They would make great pets :)
Take note of the styles scenes that seem to translate directly into Jaws scenes. One in particular comes at the 24 minute mark. It’s almost exactly the same swimming death “tug” scene that happens at the beginning of Jaws.
A young couple out for a swim is lost to the snacking slug in the middle of the night. The monster leaves radioactive secretions wherever it has been, so I was a little confused as to why his secretions would be left near the spot they changed into their suits. That’s exactly the kind of inconsistency that I love about old monster movies. They put so much into the monster, they must have hired writers without continuity experience. Still, The Monster That Challenged The World made my day!

My bonus fun moment to watch out for is the contrived, but charming scene where the autopsy doctor pulls his lunch from the cold drawer where bodies are usually kept.

Wolf bites

Movie • WOLF • 1994
Jack Nicholson’s portrayal of a werewolf in Wolf is simply wonderful, but his performance barely saves this picture. In the end it turns out no better than a rainy day flick for when you don’t have any cookies to bake.
There is an attempt at a classic monster movie opening with the stylized film-work and soundtrack. It almost convinced me that the movie had promise, but it quickly turned into a slowly drawn out action romance. While the “bite” seems reasonable enough, the transformation is slow, albeit realistic. Where was the dramatic movie magic? Even in 1994 special effects were good enough to do a more convincing job.
The plot is a bit more involved than, say, an original Universal monster movie; but it doesn’t make the movie any more appealing. Michelle Pfeiffer was decent, but her strong presence makes it difficult to see her as a distressed damsel. This seems like a mistake, but instead it becomes an obvious hint of what’s to come. James Spader was what he always is… a jerk. I guess he’s typecast.
Forget the animatronics. Poor. The fight choreography was about as good as what you might see on a soap opera. This movie had great potential, but really ended up flopping like puppy ears.

Bonus coolness: Look for the cool skull behind David Hyde Pierce in his opening scene.

Blood is prettier than water

Movie • A TALE OF TWO SISTERS • 2003
A Tale of Two Sisters is another Korean movie. They have a knack for confusing me, even with the simplest of plots. Story-telling is a cultural thing, and I'm just not used to seeing stories told this way. Gobs of it was plain weirdness for what seemed like the sake of weirdness. Then suddenly, one line is delivered that sent tingles down my spine. Su-mi’s father says something toward the end that puts everything into perspective… mostly.
Su-mi and Su-yeon are sisters forced to live with their new “mother.” She and their father seem like an unlikely couple, and she apparently has a problem with these children. There is a lot of high-pitched yelling between the girls and their dad and step-mom; so keep your finger on the volume control if you don’t want a headache.
A Tale of Two Sisters is beautifully filmed, and every frame would make it into a frame on my wall if I had the space. But it seems a lot of the images are confusing to the story. I was never certain, even at the end whether the time-line jumped around or was the story in her mind… or her mind… or her mind… or his mind… or was it an explanation? Either way, if I hadn’t have watched it alone it would have been one of those great movies to discuss. What did this mean? What did that mean?
I recommend it to people who fancy subtitles and plot confusion. Come on, you can handle it.

Die it and Exorcise

Movie • THE EXORCISM OF EMILY ROSE • 2005
I was invited to scary movie night by my friend, Betty Bones last week. One of the movies we watched was The Exorcism of Emily Rose. I never really thought I’d enjoy this particular movie because it seemed like one of those flicks that tries to capitalize on the recent popularity of scary movies. Turns out, I was right… and I was wrong. Though it’s obvious this was released at an opportune time, it seems this was a labor of love. It was a somewhat new way to tell the same old story.
The setting is modern day. We watch a court battle of who is responsible for the death of this young woman, Emily Rose. She was possessed according to her family and her clergyman. She died after a failed exorcism. According to the “people” and the prosecution her death was the result of the priest’s neglect for the maladies she supposedly suffered according to her doctor.
Just as the result of the court case, the movie allows you to decide what actually happened. They paint it both ways, but you are in for a few good startles and ghoulish images. It was worth the watch just for that.
Not as good as The Exorcist, but definitely better than most exorcism movies.

It’s Got Legs

Movie • TARANTULA • 1955
w00t!!! Got to see the newest Chiller Theater feature, Tarantula from 1955. A black and white classic, Tarantula is a wonderfully done giant buggy picture. This should be on your list of must see monster movies from the 5os if you haven’t already seen it eleventeen times!
You may have recognized Zacherly, the Cool Ghoul by his distinctive laugh if you saw this presented on Chiller Theater. I fell in love with this dreamy host a long time ago, and was glad to see his return. Chiller Theater ran first in 1961, but Zacherly hosted starting in 1963. My memory was wrong as I thought the six fingered hand was part of the opening. In reality the opening was snippets from some chiller classics. The six-fingered hand crawling from the pool of blood came on commercial breaks. You always knew the feature’s conclusion was coming up when the Chiller Hand “ate” the letters C-H-I-L-L-E-R. Something else I never could have noticed back in the day is that the voice you hear moaning, “Chiiiilll-eeeeeeer…” sounds a lot like Homer Simpson.

Tarantula opens in Desert Rock County as a disfigured man stumbles and croaks. The mystery around this man, soon identified as a Professor Jacobs, quickly unravels as we find he was part of a team experimenting on rodents and insects in the hopes they can find a solution to overpopulation. I can’t understand the logic in this, though. They were developing a serum that would act as a nutritional supplement, but the creatures grew to extremely large sizes, which I suspect would need more food or serum to survive. I guess that’s where scientists go mad in their passion to make a difference. They get exposed to they crazy chemicals, and inject themselves with their idiotic concoctions.
Needless to say, the lab is destroyed, and all the experiments are thought to be destroyed. All. But. One. The TARANTULA! It leaves the lab the size of a dog, but quickly grows to be so outrageously enormous that it dwarfs a three story house :)

We follow the shenanigans of Professor Dima, Dr. Matt Hastings (our hero), and Stephanie Clayton, aka Steve. We get to see the lovely creature several times in seamless overlays. You’ll love the effects, so grab some popcorn, and enjoy!

Tidbit relayed by Zacherly in this showing: Uncredited was a young Clint Eastwood as a fighter pilot. You can see him in the last sequence.

I want to apologize for the run-on sentences. I get that way when I get excited about great movies!

Chiller Theater Returns!!!

I know it’s been a while since I’ve posted, but it gets very busy around here before Halloween. I have to let you know one of my favorite programs is coming back! If you are in the NY area, or get WPIX Channel 11, they are bringing back Chiller Theater! Remember that six fingered hand that emerged from a puddle of blood to eat the letters in “CHILLER?” Then it would sink back down with that eerie “Chiller,” voice. Ooooh I had such a crush. I just know the elbow had to be just as cute!
Here’s a link to the Channel 11 WPIX announcement:
http://www.wpix.com/wpix_chiller_theatre

Also, here’s a link to the original Chiller opening:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ux3laLkueZk
We all know all YouTube links don’t necessarily last, so here’s a search for more:
http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=chiller&search_type=&aq=f

The heard world

Movie • THE LOST WORLD • 1995 Audio book • Original book publication - 1912
Having seen the movie for the first time, I decided to listen to the audio book while I baked some cookies. Wow! The audio was almost 9 hours long, but I was entirely engrossed for the duration. The old writing made it amusing at times, but old-school racist also. If you can get past that, and listen knowing the sensibilities are archaeic you may enjoy the in depth descriptions, and playful commentary.
The love story is completely different, and almost completely absent once it’s established. I understand why they played up the love story in the movie, but I expected that there would be better resolution in the book.
The pterodactyl was the main dinosaur, and the ape men were the antagonists virtually missing from the movie. I was disheartened to see that the explorers were more concerned with conquering the Lost World and its inhabitants than preserving it. Still, though — it was a brilliant story everyone should “read.” You will hear all the inspirations for modern dinosaur movies.I downloaded this unabridged recording of The Lost World by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, and narrated by Paul Hecht. Audible.com has a great selection of audio books. They don’t take up space on the shelf where you may rather display your bone collection.

Crafty music

Music • THE CRAFT • Soundtrack • 1996
Woosa, I’ve been in pieces lately. Sorry for the delay in posting. I haven’t been able to do much movie watching lately so, as a treat I’m going to talk music for a bit.
Music, when packaged well with a movie can be a way to experience the movie in small parts. Scenes can be recalled because of the perfect song. When you hear that song, the scene can pop up in your mind. My crush Quentin Tarrantino knows this.
The Craft soundtrack is really better than that. It serves to make me remember the movie more fondly. While it was a pretty cool movie, the music collection is a fantastic gift while the movie is just beautiful wrapping paper: enjoyable for the present, but not something to hold on to.
This soundtrack has some phenomenal cover songs. I hope you like covers the way I do. Updating or re-imagining music is a great compliment to the original artist as well as a refresh for us who appreciate the different takes.
All in all, I’d have liked a more spooky or haunting sound to the music like Mathew Sweet’s Dark Secret, but I understand how important it is to appeal to a wider audience. I do like that they stick with mostly outside the mainstream bands or independent artists like Juliana Hatfield (she happens to be one of our MySpace friends). Jewel is a bit out of place for my taste, but I like the song. Except for the rap part (she should lay off the rap) it reminds me of the 7o’s. That’s when my toesies are from, so they do some tapping.

Below is a track listing

1. Tomorrow Never Knows - Our Lady Peace
2. I Have the Touch - Heather Nova
3. All This and Nothing - Sponge
4. Dangerous Type - Letters to Cleo
5. How Soon Is Now? - Love Spit Love
6. Dark Secret - Matthew Sweet
7. Witches' Song - Juliana Hatfield
8. Jump into the Fire - Tripping Daisy
9. Under the Water - Jewel
10. Warning - All Too Much
11. Spastica - Elastica
12. Horror - Spacehog
13. Bells, Books and Candles - Graeme Revell