Sunday, June 22, 2008

More incredible bunk

Is this a Levis ad or movie poster?

I’m not the type to get on line early for too many pictures these days, so forgive me for this Hulk review so many days after the opening. I was not very impressed with the Ang Lee endeavor, so I didn’t put too much hope into the new movie starring the big, cute and angry monster.
To put it simply, improvement does not make this a good movie. I mean it was mildly entertaining, but the standard has dropped so far, we all think mediocrity is excellence. There were still some very awkward moments during the transformations from Bruce Banner into the Hulk. They looked better when they showed only hints of the change, but they got cocky, and tried full on bright light changes. Hulk bubbles? I always thought he grew evenly. He bubbled like he had giant maggots under his skin.
I can suspend my beliefs as well as the next movie fan, but how come tank missiles barely stun him, but knocking his head on the ceiling of a cave make him reach painfully for his bruised noggin saying, “Oooh,” (as in “ouchy”)? Liv Tyler was poorly cast here. Sorry. She was no Betty Ross. She should stick with roles where she doesn’t have to speak too much. And, Liv! Lay off the lip injections. It looks like allergies.
I was actually bothered by the lame cameos, and how awkwardly they were placed. The sequel implications bothered me too. The movie was peppered with them. Isn’t that a bit presumptuous considering the previous fiasco?
Abomination was crazy cool looking, but didn’t look like the comic character. He looked more like the alien/Ripley hybrid from Alien: Resurrection, but all grown up and stacked from taking too much HGH.
I can’t even complain that The Incredible Hulk was a testosterone frenzy because there wasn’t really that much action. I always thought I’d love a CGI Hulk because he would be so cute, but there were more scenes where he looked wrong than right. He looked good in the rain, but even Jurassic Park did better in sunlight. I’m going to stick with the old Lou Ferrigno Hulk. My heart was raised in the seventies along with at least one of my eyes.

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