Saturday, May 3, 2008

Stinky Mothra balls

The title alone lets you know you are in for a two hour commercial for plush Mothra toys. You really have to be a TOHO Pictures fan, and even then, you have to specifically like what they have done long after the 1970s. Even the original Mothra song was better when it was a tribal island song with a drum beat. Now it's a world music pop song that takes itself way too seriously. Crikey!
And what happened to the tiny twins? Now it's three fairy chicks, one who looks like an evil Lily Tomlin, and two who ride a dove-sized moth named, wait for it… Fairy. They even fight with swords. Their costumes look like they're from the Japanese Ice Capades.
Thank goodness King Ghidorah comes along to steal all the children (and the show). He’s looking really spiffy with his new buck racks. But can someone tell me how many different origins this golden three-headed dragon has? It seems he works for every evil alien race, comes from a number of different planets, and always comes back to earth looking for trouble. Can’t he bother some other peaceful planet?
Mothra, now a time traveling giant moth with electric eyes that shoot assorted beams of power goes back 130 million years to fight a younger, slimmer version of King Ghidorah. Think it sounds a bit like The Terminator? Mothra even looks like a T-3000 model Mothinator when she's in transit!
Mothra seems to fair no better at kicking King Ghidorah’s butt in prehistoric time when dinosaurs are made of clay. She should just say, “uncle,” and call it a movie. Thank goodness for her ancestors’ magic silly string. Mothra is reborn 130 million years later in present day to defeat King Ghidorah once and for all… or at least until Rebirth of Mothra IV.
Sadly, I loved the original character from Godzilla. Like a moth to a flame it would have been better to burn out than fade away.

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