Punch knocked me out

The pic above looks like Betty Bones.

Movie • DOLLS • 1987

I admit I went into this with a notion that it would be really bad. Probably if I had seen it when it was first released I would have laughed all the way home. I didn’t have an appreciation for 80’s horror in the 80’s — or at least very little of it impressed me.
But like time healing wounds, years can make bad movies good. The thing is Dolls was actually pretty good… in a fun way. Not in an award winning way.
A horrible pop and a terrible step-mummie are driving through England on holiday, reluctantly toting the dad’s daughter along. If you don’t love the opening scene with the ferocious Teddy then you may as well watch something else. Teddy was adorable!
The family gets stuck in the mud and head for the conveniently located mansion for cover from the storm. A cheeky Madonna wannabe punk and her crony also intrude along with their hitcher-picker-upper. The gracious ancient couple who live in the mansion have ulterior motives, of course — as do the faux punks. They’re sticking around to nick a wallet, and swipe some anti-cues. That’s antiques for the rest of us.
It takes a while for a good scene to show up after Teddy, but I squealed every time the dolls did their thing. This picture was a wonderful surprise, so don’t be afraid of the dark — be afraid of what’s in the dark. At night toys come to life, but you have nothing to fear if you are a child at heart. Toys are loyal, and that’s a fact.

PS. Now I get it! The little tot’s name was Judy, and the old man gave her a doll named Punch. Punch & Judy!