Alice in Murderland

Movie • ALICE, SWEET ALICE • 1977

It’s one of those religious themed scary movies form the 70’s. There are no monsters in this movie, but Paula Sheppard who plays Alice sure pulls off the scary little girl so well, I am still haunted by her face. It should be noted that a little known Brooke Shields was in this as Alice’s little sister, but it’s no spoiler to say she dies very early on. I’m disheartened to see that some DVD covers give her name top billing when her role lasts about as long as a Lemon Meringue Pie at a hungry crone tea party. Trust me – she’s not the reason to see this. Paula Sheppard is.
Oh, and get ready for the creepiest landlord you’ll ever witness. Played by Alphonso DeNoble, he steps out of a Rob Zombie movie then gets into a time machine, and steals the show in Alice, Sweet Alice. I was rooting for Alice to put the creepy landlord out of his misery.
If you know me, you know I love everybody, but I think I hated everyone in this movie. I also wanted Alice to cook the goose of everyone from her naggy Aunt Annie to the old lady, Mrs. Tredoni.
The blame is laid out so carefully that you just know there has to be a better explanation for all we witness. Of course there is, but you’ll have to see it yourself. I was slightly impressed, and fooled only a bit.

As a bonus, keep your eyes out for the delicious chocolate cake Alice gives to Mr. Alfonso after her sister’s funeral. And for all you “I spy” players, take a look at the priest, and tell me he doesn’t look like Seth McFarland. Now I want to give confession to Brian the dog.

Paula Sheppard as Alice Spages.